Trig has spent the last week putting us through Dante's fifth circle of hell. He spends his days in rapturous glee running from one part of the house to the other pushing buttons (literally), yanking down decorations, playing with electrical plugs, throwing food on the floor and my eye twitcher, the "let's sit on the carpet, tip my cup upside down and watch as the milk leaks out one drop at a time" game.
The piece de resistance came Thursday night while I was at work. He had pretty much spent the whole day being fussy. After I left for work, Jason began doing the dishes but as soon as he started Trig came up behind him and began to cry. Thinking if he could just get the dishes in the dishwasher, he would have the rest of the evening to attend to this monsters every need, he kept going. Trig wasn't having any of it. That's when Jason said he heard it. A splat! A thud! He turned around and saw Trig flat on his back - in a puddle of diarrhea.
I know this move. We had a dog that used to do the same thing. If we didn't give her the attention that she wanted, she crapped right in front us. The dog is gone.
Jason got him all cleaned up and in bed by the time I got home. But just as I was dosing off to sleep, he woke up. I felt pretty bad for him. I mean, imagine pooping all over the floor and then slipping and falling in it. That's a bad day. So I went into his bedroom and brought him into bed with me. Now, Trig has always been pretty independent. He hasn't slept in bed with us since he was a little fella. Anytime I try and cuddle with him on the bed, he pops right up and wants to play. But that night, he lay in the crook of my arm, snuggled under the covers and watched Little Bill until he dosed off to sleep.
I lay there and just watched him. I remembered when he was a week old being stuck in bed while Jason took care of him. I remember being afraid that I was missing out on those first moments with my last child and swearing to myself that I would cherish and enjoy every single moment with him. And as I lay there watching him, I realized that even though I have been with him nearly every moment of his life - I haven't been
present. There's a big difference. I'm just glad it didn't take me realizing it until it was too late.